Sunday, May 24, 2009

Oh Noes! Socialism!

Here in the US, we don't like political isms and throw them about like baseballs as if Americans have ANY clue what any of them really are given at least one of them (communism) was not allowed to be taught in school. We just needed to follow the bouncing ball and hate communism, no matter what it was, which, of course, we all did. Some of us followed so carefully and faithfully we ended up in coffins via Vietnam which, of course, is now a fully democratic country; the spitting image of the US, just like Iraq.

1. For example, if one supports welfare for children, one supports socialism (bad). If one supports NAFTA, that's free trade economics (good) and anti-unionism, also good. We simply cannot have unions for they are an ism that doesn't end in ism and was a terrible mistake brought about, in theory, by Catholicism. In some countries, they meet: NAFTA and economics blend into something called child labor which results in capital profits which is good but which is opposed by evil humanitarianism which would not allow children to be labor slaves, thus humanitarianism is bad.

2. Taxation is always, always bad and so bad it doesn't even meet the ism test. Taxation leads to pools of money that are then redistributed to do all kinds of bad things. Thus, taxation is the root of socialism. A few examples of socialism through the more evil taxation are:

  • Roads and bridges. Our folks and/or grandparents walked always uphill through five feet of snow everywhere they went. We should too. No need for roads, let alone evil bridges that connect one place to another. We'll have none of that! You want a road? Pay for its building and maintenance yourself!
  • Schools, colleges and universities. Only some people need schools. Most can sign their X on the line by someone in the family freely showing them how to do it. As for colleges and universities, that is for the intellectual elites (elitism is never, ever good) and normal people don't need an education. Education is socialism. Elites should be killed off. They are a clear threat to America as GOP candidates such as the American patriot Sarah Palin have so carefully, forcefully and originally noted.
  • Fire departments and police departments are a form of socialism and should be stopped immediately. In this case, evil taxation has supported this collective which we don't need and worse, these institutions are unionism, too. In the case of fire, get a bucket and a hose. In the case of police, just join the NRA and give everyone guns and ammo and that should do the trick. If you cannot defend yourself, you don't deserve to live or keep your private property.
  • Insurance. Insurance is an exception to the rule. In this case, because it is not based on taxation, and is a voluntary pool of funds designed to make a few CEOs really, really rich and sometimes cover those pooling their moneys when they file a claim, it is a form of ism that because it is not government controlled is always good. Currently, there are moves to stop the enriching of CEOs by the horrific suggestion that people might be able to get something called health care (this is an obscure service/thing that, simply, means if you need medical help you can see an actual doctor instead of dying in the waiting room of the local privately owned emergency hospital) from an elite that stupidly went to a socialism supported college or university school to learn how to help people who are sick [another form of humanitarianism but with the caveat that they are in business for themselves (at least for now)]. In the case of so-called health care, companies are actually expected to sometimes give up the moneys they are paid so they can pay for someone to get health care. This is never good, as they know, and they often will not pay, as well they should not. There are also other forms of insurance for things like cars and jewelry and such. All these things are owned only by elites and who cares about them as they should just all be killed letting the companies keep the money. One particularly egregious form of insurance is for those who fall off someone's 12-story building while welding a beam because they were too stupid not to or someone who falls off a roof while fixing a chimney or who slips in a puddle of water and breaks their back. In all cases, these people are idiots who should never see a penny of funds from the insurance companies. And these companies agree. They have good elitists (the capitalist kinds) to make sure that not a penny of money ever goes to the purely stupid so the capitalist CEOs can build bigger houses and fly in the skies in things called magical airplanes. Bottom line: insurance good. Insurance payments bad. Any attempt by our horrible government to take away moneys from these wonderful insurance companies should be a clarion call to the NRA members to fight against their own best interests. Don't you just hate it when someone has their own best interest in mind? I know I do.
3. Our government has been, and remains, a nanny state. For some stupid reason, the government gets involved with water and air and food. They seem to believe that they have some kind of knowledge that really helps. So here is my advice:
  • Water. Since the earth was created, about five thousand years ago, Adam and Eve and all of our other relatives drank it. So go ahead, drink it. Who needs the government to tell us when or what we can drink. Stupid fools!
  • Air: If you are reading this, you are breathing and are not dead. We don't need some stupid federal agency filled with socialism educated elites to make ridiculous rules on what we can breathe. We all breathe air. Nuff said.
  • Food: Sniff it. If you don't like the smell, don't eat it. It's don't ask don't tell. One word of advise: Stay away from anything red including apples and berries. We know how that goes. Figs might not be great either, but pray and sniff before making a decision.
4. Endangered schpecies and the like. This is really a threat to America and just gives jobs to socialism educated elites and WE pay for this through the evil taxation.
  • Schpecies don't matter. All that matters is humans and given were given the right to kill anything we want by God, we should. In fact, we must.
  • My gun is endangered. I want it protected and so does the NRA! My friends, buy ammo and lots of it. Stock up.
  • Bowling alleys are endangered. We really need a national discussion on this issue, seriously. If, as Newt Gingrich suggests, a couple of bombs can knock out all the electricity in the US, then we have to have volunteers to set the pins and return the balls. Let's get together and figure out how to keep it going!
5. National Security. Despite all the people that made us give up almost all of our nuclear bombs, we still have a few left, thank God. We need a national convention (perhaps we can walk to someplace in the central US?) to figure out where to drop them.

This common sense stuff has been brought to you by republicans throughout the United States (except Texas because these folks are planning to leave after they take all the money they can from the federal government to rebuild their state house that burned down. God Bless Rick Perry and God Bless Texas.).

If you like these thoughts, please contact the head of the Republican Party (whoever that is next week) and let them know. If you walk to Washington DC, you can find someone.